He can show you that he still wants to be in a relationship with you. And in this case, he's probably going to choose your mother in law over you. There is no privacy in my marriage my husband tells his mother everything, i don,t feel like i can talk to my husband or tell him anything without him going and telling her. A lot of marriages suffer because the husband can’t keep anything to himself and runs… Ask a Therapist: How Do I Tell My Husband I Need Space Without Hurting His Feelings? It doesn't matter if you love her or hate her, your partner's mother (or your mother in law) is guaranteed to be a sensitive or politically fraught topic—especially if it feels as though he's always putting her interests above yours, or he refuses to draw any sort of boundaries between your relationship and her. I think he should keep some things between us. He obviously has/thinks he has a close enough relationship with his mother to tell her private things (hopefully to ask for guidance and not for a good gossip) but his primary relationship is with you. You’d rather be somewhere else, I get that. My story can show … Let’s see how you can do that all the while avoiding a huge fight with your partner. Try to make him understand how sharing the nitty-gritty details of your private life with your mother in law makes you uncomfortable. The other day, I got an email from a wife who told me: "my husband is in love with someone else. Also the fact that his mom calls your mom means that she to doesn’t know anything about boundaries. But doing this will show your spouse that you’re willing to put your differences aside and making an effort to make him happy. If you see her treating you badly after a big fight with your partner, it’s because she’s disappointed in you from whatever she heard from her son. While this is infuriating, you should have the talk with your partner instead of lashing out at your mother in law. He simply disagreed. And for more relationship advice, know the 40 Relationship Tips That Are Actually Terrible. The hardest part of my marriage is that my wife tells her mother everything. "The one exception to this is if he intentionally keeps her distant because of her issues, and he's been to years of psychotherapy to deal with her issues and their relationship." Here is an idea - maybe it will work? Explain why he needs to discuss a job change or buying a house with you instead of her. -- Donn Peters If you live with your mother in law, it’s time to move out and start a life of your own. "If your guy is seeking approval from his mom on daily life decisions, you can be assured she's also pulling the strings on who she approves of him dating," she explains. Do you want to take it up with her to put her in her place? Bestlifeonline.com is part of the Meredith Health Group, He Needs Her Approval To Make Big Decisions. Rather talk about what really matters and ask what you really want from him. If it seems like a lost cause and you can’t deal with it alone, give couples counseling a try. Gently remind him that now he has a wife to turn to. He should have respected the privacy of your married life instead of opening it to her. Show him how the equation has changed and why he needs to focus on that now. please help Sometimes this problem begins when a wife feels frustrated over her husband’s seeming lack of interest in conversing about her day; she starts talking with her parents instead. Usually when my husband comes home from work frustrated or angry about his day, I encourage him to tell me what's on his mind. I’m Not Attracted To My Boyfriend Anymore: 10 Things You Should Do. He pays an unusual amount of attention to his appearance. I hear you but who said married life is supposed to be all flowers and unicorns? “You seriously need to tell your husband to get some guts and tell your mother-in-law to butt out." Pent-up emotions and bottled up negativities are disasters in waiting and are best got rid off at the earliest. Hi, My husband and I loves each other. 40 Relationship Tips That Are Actually Terrible. I firmly believe that every marriage has the endless capacity to both heal and grow. Before we get too far into this, your husband telling his mother everything can mean a lot of different things. She is controlling, manupulative, and has made my life a living hell from day one. When he talks to her over the phone, ask him to leave out the details of your private life.